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Everything posted by P38

  1. P38

    The Golden Phone

    A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches round the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall with a sign that read, "$10,000 per minute." Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that the golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven, and if he pays the price, he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor an
  2. P38

    A Good Italian Girl

    An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the linuxtore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the livi
  3. A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me i
  4. P38

    Swimming Pool ?

    "Hello?" Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." Brief Pause. "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway." "Okay Daddy, just a minute." A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
  5. Heightened terrorist threat levels in Europe Finally the Europeans are getting serious about the threat of terrorism. Sounds real serious to me ..... The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issu
  6. P38

    Which would you prefer?

    I use two different camcorders. Both use mini-DV tapes. I strongly recommend tape over DVD unless you are going to get a camcorder that supports full size DVDs. The mini-dvd is more expensive than the mini-dv tape and it does not add anything to the quality of your product. I use a $1500 Sony for recording special events and some of these wind up on our local cable channel. For my portable camera, I use a Canon Elura 100. For pure quality, the Sony beats the Canon hands down (of course) but it is large and bulky and not something I would want to carry around a theme park. On the other h
  7. It is Gentoo all the way. It may not be perfect and it may not be for everyone, but it is for me. P38
  8. P38

    dual boot

    Describe your system a little better. Are you using a drive for windows and a drive for linux or do you have both on the same drive? Did you see any errors during the Fedora install of grub? P38
  9. i dont run ubuntu but i was able to google a solution to your problem. http://ubuntuforums.org/showpost.php?p=2493&postcount=2 hope this helps p38
  10. in response to your comments: - You have the option of compiling your own kernel in Fedora. The nice thing about Fedora is you are handed a stable system almost out of the box and this makes for a easy starting point for a beginner. - Gentoo is my preferred system. I have tried several and I settled on Gentoo when Redhat 9 went end-of-life. The package management system of Gentoo is one of it's strengths. Once you learn your way around it, it is extremely powerful. Once of Gentoo's main strengths is the community of users. The community is huge and growing and that makes identifying an
  11. P38


    well, they spent a lot of time on the paint and trim but what is under the hood?
  12. znx is, as usual, correct here. Remove sendmail from the box and install postfix. As a long time sendmail user converted to postfix, I can tell you that you are much better off with postfix and your configuration will be much less of a headache. P38
  13. Welcome to the forum. That is what we are here for. Pick a distro, read the install documentation and get it on your machine. If you get stuck, ask here or join us in IRC channel #linux-noob on efnet and ask us there. Remember, everyone starts out with Linux at the same place... at the beginning. P38
  14. Well, as the saying goes, "Famous last words" Where once it was working, now it is broken and I can find nothing that has changed. I'm not going to start a HOWTO or such on installing the package until after mine is working. Sorry for the misdirection. P38
  15. copy the .config from the /usr/src/linux-??? of your previous kernel in to the /usr/src/linux dir of your new kernel. In the new kernel's dir, run make oldconfig. If there are differences between the config of the old kernel and the new kernel, the script will prompt you for each of them and offer you the choice of Yes/No/Module (where applicable) for each of them. Answer them all and at the end, the script will write you a new .config. After that completes, run make menuconfig and make any additional changes you need/want to make for the new kernel. Then make && mak
  16. Well, I finally listened to Randall and took the plunge into the freenx arena. This is one sweet program. An interesting point, the NX product uses ssh as the transport layer. It works by setting up a ssh connection from the client to the server and, on the server side, executing a program via ssh to start the desktop. The display is transported back to the client over the ssh connection and displayed at on the client side. Keeping this in mind when you setup the keys for the NX connection is important. It took me a few minutes to understand why the private key was installed on
  17. Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the m
  18. P38


    For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree.... TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline. FIRST YEAR Autumn Schedule: MEN 101 Combating Stupidity MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework MEN 103
  19. Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair." The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life." The old lady still says nothing but after a cou
  20. P38


    Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church, but only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do
  21. P38

    Quick Thinking

    An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some apples. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of hi
  22. P38

    survey results

    A recent survey was conducted. "Why do men like blow jobs?" 10% like the feeling 12% like the dominance 78% like the silence
  23. Instructions on how to clean your toilet 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse". 6. Have someone open the front door
  24. P38

    Doctor's humor

    Little doctor humor which is supposed to be for real. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be,"
  25. P38

    Nurse, Nurse

    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and say
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