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Heightened terrorist threat levels in Europe


Finally the Europeans are getting serious about the threat of

terrorism. Sounds real serious to me .....


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist

threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or

even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the

blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been

re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time

the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the

great fire of 1666.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its

terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in

France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by

a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

paralyzing the country's military capability.


And, it's not only the English and French that are on a heightened

level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly

and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels

remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."


The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful

Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also

have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."


Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to

deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new

Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



ZOUNDS! Can it get any worse?