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Little doctor humor which is supposed to be for real.

 

 

 

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the

 

cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and

 

began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several

 

cabs - and I was in the wrong one.

 

 

 

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

 

 

 

 

 

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and

 

slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.

 

"Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

 

 

 

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

 

 

 

 

 

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her

 

husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes

 

later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a

 

"massive internal fart."

 

 

 

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

 

 

 

 

 

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I

 

placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye

 

with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a

 

flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even

 

read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done

 

exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both

 

his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

 

 

 

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

 

 

 

 

 

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he

 

informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his

 

medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one

 

every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him

 

quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see .

 

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions

 

include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

 

 

 

Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

 

 

 

 

 

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have

 

you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered...

 

"Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

 

 

 

Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

 

 

 

 

 

I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"

 

"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to

 

the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman

 

produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

 

 

 

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

 

 

 

 

 

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple

 

hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and

 

wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had

 

acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was

 

completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic

 

hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep

 

off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon

 

wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow

 

the lawn."

 

 

 

and finally...

 

 

 

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing

 

female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a

 

habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing

 

this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked

 

up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She

 

replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an

 

Oscar Meyer Wiener".

 

 

 

Dr. wouldn't admit his name


:) i cant say anything else for laugh..