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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon -- Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

 

On a Septic Tank Truck sign -- We're #1 in the #2 business.

 

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office -- Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

 

At a Proctologist's door -- To expedite your visit please back in.

 

On a Plumber's truck -- We repair what your husband fixed.

 

On a Plumber's truck -- Don't sleep with a drip. Call your Plumber.

 

Pizza Shop Slogan -- 7 days without pizza makes one weak.

 

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee -- Invite us to your next blowout.

 

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door -- Hello. Can we pick your nose?

 

At a Towing company -- We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

 

On an Electrician's truck -- Let us remove your shorts.

 

In a Nonsmoking Area -- If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

 

On a Maternity Room door -- Push. Push. Push.

 

At an Optometrist's Office -- If you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place.

 

On a Taxidermist's window -- We really know our stuff.

 

In a Podiatrist's office -- Time wounds all heels.

 

On a Fence -- Salesmen welcome!

 

Dog food is expensive -- At a Car Dealership.

 

The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment.

 

Outside a Muffler Shop -- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room -- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

 

At the Electric Company -- We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

 

In a Restaurant window -- Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.

 

In the front yard of a Funeral Home -- Drive carefully. We'll wait.

 

At a Propane Filling Station, Thank heaven for little grills.

 

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop -- Best place in town to take a leak.