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heres a few.... some old ones but hey why not.....?




A couple was invited to a swanky family masked fancy-dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.


So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party.


In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.


So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.


His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.


After some more to drink he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the back seat.


Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.


She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."


Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."


Then she said with unashamed sarcasm, "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!"


And the husband returned, "Actually I gave my costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time"




In an airplane the captain told the passengers: "This is your Captain speaking. We are loosing height and we do not have fuel enough for reaching land. Therefore, we have to let all baggage leave the airplane." The airplane got height again. Half a our later the airplane lost height again and the captain were on the loudspeakers once more: "This is your captain speaking. We are still loosing height, and we can not reach land without having some passengers to leave the plane. It is a bad situation but we will do this in an honest and democratic way - we will use the alphabet - starting with A. Are there any African passengers?" No one answered. Are there any Black passengers?" Still no one answered. Are there any Coloured passengers?" Still no one answered but back in the airplane a little boy asked his father: "Dad, you have always told me to be honest. We are both from Africa and have black coloured skin." "Yes, my son. That is right. But today we are Niggers".

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haha both of them were excellent !





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