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  protect yourself from Spyware in Windows
Posted by: anyweb - 2005-05-31, 02:24 PM - Forum: Security - No Replies


Windows-noob.com has been updated,

 

read the entire article here

 

cheers

 

anyweb

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  Ubuntu keeps locking up.
Posted by: godskalk - 2005-05-30, 10:27 AM - Forum: Ubuntu - Replies (15)


My Ubuntu distro keeps locking up, atleast everytime the screensaver goes on.

I bet this is a video card issue (ati 9800 pro), since in Windows i gotta use 4x agp instead of 8x agp or the computer locks up everytime i play a game or just random.

 

I've installed the fglrx drivers and they work fine, i have 3d acceleration and all. Tried to set the AgpMode option to "4", but it still freezes.

 

Anyone have a tip on what i can do?

 

I checked if i can set the max\min agp usage in BIOS but i can't. :(

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  How did you do that?
Posted by: lerum - 2005-05-28, 08:58 AM - Forum: Windows - Replies (6)


Well I'm experimenting at the moment. No overclocking here :)

 

And yes it is a real MAC OS X 10.3

It can do most things my iMAC G5 can.

 

This is PearPC 0.4pre emulating the powerPC.

<a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/post-591-1117270734.jpg" data-fileid="316">[img]<fileStore.core_Attachment>/post-591-1117270734.jpg[/img]</a>



Attached Files
.jpg   apple.JPG (Size: 131.05 KB / Downloads: 0)
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  'free' shells
Posted by: katami - 2005-05-28, 03:03 AM - Forum: General Chat - Replies (3)


Hey guys, I'm leaving for basic in a lil over 15 days now. One of the things I was wanting todo before I left was make a giant botnet and start a channel and just let it run long as it could. (I'm going to be gone for ~8 months) Do any of you by chance know of anybody that could help me get this going? I don't really care if they kill the processes while i'm away, but just don't delete all the files for them or w/e. If any of you know anything, plz lemme know!

 

-mols

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  Ode to happy
Posted by: Randall - 2005-05-27, 01:15 PM - Forum: Jokes - No Replies


Ode to happiness

as I get excited to see you tonight

Thinking of how happy you will make me

as if feels every time like a first date

I get dressed and put on my attire

I get my car washed and waxed to pick you up

I pull up to your place of residence

I walk in and ask for you

they tell me to wait and you will be out soon

as you come out my heart races and can believe the beauty I see

my hands become sweaty and my words start to stumble

As i open the door to my car I help you in the front seat

close the door and getting more excited by your beauty

as we arrive to the party I see your sweating

I can tell that you are as excited as me

I help you out the car picking you

as we enter the front door every one looks at you

all the eyes were on you my beauty

for you are the most beautiful thing at the party

Feeling jealous I take you in the room

running my hands over all over you

I start to run my tongue all over your body

your body making me excited

as I lay you down I take the toy

and slowly enter it inside you

as I start to pump you harder and harder

I can see you sweating more and tell you getting close

then with out words you explode in to my cup filling it up to the brim

as everyone cheers I can tell that you my keg are ready for one long night

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  The power of Women
Posted by: lia - 2005-05-26, 08:11 PM - Forum: Jokes - Replies (2)


The Power of Women

The Power of Women

 

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.

The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn, the wife likes to read.

 

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and

decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife

decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance,

anchors,and continues to read her book. Along comes a game

warden in his boat.

 

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am.

What are you doing?"

 

"Reading a book," She replies, (Thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

 

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

 

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

 

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could

start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

 

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says

the woman.

 

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

 

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you

could start at any moment."

 

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

 

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also think.

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  HIS-terical
Posted by: P38 - 2005-05-26, 01:53 PM - Forum: Jokes - Replies (1)


For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating

marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be

trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year

associates degree....

 

TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six

mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an

associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the

program outline.

 

 

FIRST YEAR

 

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101 Combating Stupidity

MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework

MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

 

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 2AM

MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook

EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers

 

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You're Wrong

MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex

MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers

ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers

 

 

SECOND YEAR

 

Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It

SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Elective (See Electives Below)

 

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise

MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important

 

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions

MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

 

Course Electives:

EAT 201 Cooking with Tofu

EAT 202 Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 203 Burping and Belching Discreetly

MEN 231 Mothers-in-law

MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"

ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her

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  Speedy
Posted by: Oroshi - 2005-05-25, 11:30 AM - Forum: General Chat - Replies (1)


An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

 

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

 

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

 

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

 

Officer: Can I see your license please?

 

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

 

Officer: Don't have one?

 

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

 

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

 

Older Woman: I can't do that.

 

Officer: Why not?

 

Older Woman: I stole this car.

 

Officer: Stole it?

 

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

 

Officer: You what?

 

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

 

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

 

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

 

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

 

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

 

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

 

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,please.

 

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

 

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

 

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

 

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

 

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

 

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

 

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

 

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

 

 

Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies

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  my fcr3 xorg.conf
Posted by: anyweb - 2005-05-25, 10:28 AM - Forum: Xorg Problems - No Replies


here it is

 



Code:
# Xorg configuration created by system-config-display

Section "ServerLayout"
Identifier     "single head configuration"
Screen      0  "Screen0" 0 0
InputDevice    "Mouse0" "CorePointer"
InputDevice    "Keyboard0" "CoreKeyboard"
InputDevice    "Synaptics" "AlwaysCore"
EndSection

Section "Files"

# RgbPath is the location of the RGB database.  Note, this is the name of the
# file minus the extension (like ".txt" or ".db").  There is normally
# no need to change the default.
# Multiple FontPath entries are allowed (they are concatenated together)
# By default, Red Hat 6.0 and later now use a font server independent of
# the X server to render fonts.
RgbPath      "/usr/X11R6/lib/X11/rgb"
FontPath     "unix/:7100"
EndSection

Section "Module"
Load  "dbe"
Load  "extmod"
Load  "fbdevhw"
Load  "glx"
Load  "record"
Load  "freetype"
Load  "type1"
Load  "synaptics"
Load  "dri"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"

# Specify which keyboard LEDs can be user-controlled (eg, with xset(1))
#    Option    "Xleds"  "1 2 3"
# To disable the XKEYBOARD extension, uncomment XkbDisable.
#    Option    "XkbDisable"
# To customise the XKB settings to suit your keyboard, modify the
# lines below (which are the defaults).  For example, for a non-U.S.
# keyboard, you will probably want to use:
#    Option    "XkbModel"    "pc102"
# If you have a US Microsoft Natural keyboard, you can use:
#    Option    "XkbModel"    "microsoft"
#
# Then to change the language, change the Layout setting.
# For example, a german layout can be obtained with:
#    Option    "XkbLayout"    "de"
# or:
#    Option    "XkbLayout"    "de"
#    Option    "XkbVariant"    "nodeadkeys"
#
# If you'd like to switch the positions of your capslock and
# control keys, use:
#    Option    "XkbOptions"    "ctrl:swapcaps"
# Or if you just want both to be control, use:
#    Option    "XkbOptions"    "ctrl:nocaps"
#
Identifier  "Keyboard0"
Driver      "kbd"
Option     "XkbModel" "pc105"
Option     "XkbLayout" "us"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
Identifier  "Mouse0"
Driver      "mouse"
Option     "Protocol" "IMPS/2"
Option     "Device" "/dev/input/mice"
Option     "ZAxisMapping" "4 5"
Option     "Emulate3Buttons" "yes"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
Identifier  "Synaptics"
Driver      "synaptics"
Option     "Device" "/dev/input/mice"
Option     "Protocol" "auto-dev"
Option     "Emulate3Buttons" "yes"
EndSection

Section "Monitor"
Identifier   "Monitor0"
VendorName   "Monitor Vendor"
ModelName    "LCD Panel 1024x768"
HorizSync    31.5 - 48.5
VertRefresh  40.0 - 70.0
Option     "dpms"
EndSection

Section "Device"
Identifier  "Videocard0"
Driver      "i810"
VendorName  "Videocard vendor"
BoardName   "Intel 830"
EndSection

Section "Screen"
Identifier "Screen0"
Device     "Videocard0"
Monitor    "Monitor0"
DefaultDepth     24
SubSection "Display"
 Viewport   0 0
 Depth     16
 Modes    "800x600" "640x480"
EndSubSection
SubSection "Display"
 Viewport   0 0
 Depth     24
 Modes    "1024x768" "800x600" "640x480"
EndSubSection
EndSection

Section "DRI"
Group        0
Mode         0666
EndSection




 

cheers

 

anyweb

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  value for your money
Posted by: P38 - 2005-05-24, 11:49 PM - Forum: General Chat - No Replies


Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.

 

The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."

 

The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word.

 

The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."

 

The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.

 

"So, you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.

 

"Get serious", she replies. "Four times in the rocking chair."

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